Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Cheney going to prison?

I know this is a sports blog, but I hope you'll bear with me if I depart from the usual topics today to discuss something almost related.

Golf.

Now, you might not know this yet, but there's apparently an up-and-coming young female golfer named Michelle Wie who aspires to play on the pro men's tour and can, at least theoretically, win a spot at the Masters by winning the men's U.S. Amateur Public Links this week.

First off, let me start by saying: fantastic! Anything with the potential of upsetting stuffy golf traditionalists is fine by me.

However.

I am quite bored with the whole women-competing-with-the-men thing, especially since it's beaten to death before any of the women have actually slain the pack of snarling men-folk. And I think we all know why that is.

Don't get me wrong. I would love to see Michelle Wie miraculously (and it's going to take a miracle) qualify for the Masters, and then win it, partly because she's a woman, and partly because she's so young. Now that would be a compelling story. Yes, Augusta National as a private club is allowed to discriminate based on gender; I just find the ongoing decision to do so stupid, just like the rest of golf.

(I know, that's raising the level of discourse into the Sudrethian stratosphere; however, I am bitter at the entire sport due to my recent purchase of Tiger Woods for the PlayStation 2, which has completely obliterated any ability I've developed to control my temper.)

And don't lump me in with players like Danny Green, one of her competitors this week, who told the Associated Press yesterday, "I don't think she should be here. I think she should play in the women's tournaments because they don't let the men play in women's tournaments."

Well stated, moron. Every single time a female athlete or golfer goes against the men, some wise guy has to bring this up. Yes, it's true that a man is not allowed to enter an LPGA tour event (due to tour bylaws) and that a woman can at least give it a go on the men's tour, but we all understand the reasons for this, right? Men are, as a general rule, physically stronger and thus better equipped for sports; I don't see the need to elaborate or point this out every time. While women will probably never dominate the PGA tour, there are many men capable of making a complete mockery of women's golf.

Anyway, it seems like women going against men is the big thing these days, especially in "sports" like golf and auto racing where the gender gap seems to make less of a difference.

Take Danica Patrick. After she didn't win the Indianapolis 500 (but finished an impressive-for-a-rookie fourth), she was on the cover of Sports Illustrated with the tagline: "The Start of Something Big."

Ha.

Unless the "something big" refers to the amount of coverage rammed down our collective throats, instead of her career, this is absurd. It's impossible for her profile to get any bigger than it was that week, even if she wins the race next year.

Or do you know someone who actually watched the Indy 500?

Same goes for Annika Sorenstam, occasionally said to be the world's greatest golfer. Um, no. No one would ever call Lisa Leslie the world's best basketball player, so why do we have to delude ourselves in other arenas?

Or go back to Wie, an amazing talent who-again, at 15-was tied for the lead in the women's U.S. Open going into the last day just a few weeks ago. And she came pretty close to becoming the first woman in however long to make the cut at a men's tournament. But while I know and care little for the "sport", making the cut sounds like a far cry from winning the tournament, doesn't it?

Even though I think auto racing is lame, and even men's golf is stealth to my radar, I think it would be amazing for a woman to come in and actually win the events. The key word being "win".

I know there's nothing better to discuss in sports right now (trust me, I'm talking about talking about it), but can we at least hold off on the coronations until a coup occurs?

Finally, a programming note: I think I will make the local Denver sports round-up a weekly event, probably to run every Friday. Unless nothing happens, in which case we'll discuss American foreign policy in the comments section. Thanks for your time.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

mike... way to keep your finger on the pulse of what's hot.

1st off, in defense of the recreational pastime (notice i didn't say sport), i think golf is a very worthwhile endeavor. it's an enjoyable time outside, either with a good group of friends or by yourself. I've done both on many occasions and have had some great times.

golf gets a bad rap from every sports elitist, but i think it's a very healthy hobby to get into, in that it can grow old with you. When my options are shuffleboard, lawn bowling, dominoes, bowling, or golf when i'm wearing leisure suits and depends... give me golf for sure. the courses are often very beautiful, and it's a nice way to get some walking in and is also a convenient business skill to possess.

secondly... i despise michelle wie. i think she is a great talent, don't get me wrong. but she prances into every event as if she where rosa-freaking parks. she is a spoiled brat, with a bigger sense of self entitlement, second to only john kerry. I root against her every chance i get.

There's nothing attractive nor charming about someone who plays martyr or "they don't respect me because i'm a woman or young." Newsflash, even a lot of the older women on the tour don't like her. Because her dad acts as her caddy and doesn't know golf etiquette, but also... she's just a spoiled brat. disgusting.

Anonymous said...

*were rosa

Mike said...

I hate golf mainly because people feel the need to inform me of their skill level or quality and price tag of new equipment. Shut up, I don't care.

You're right that it's a worthwhile activity, though not one I could get into, if only because I'm not big on hobbies that have etiquitte. You dropped the hammer by comparing it to bowling, though.

We've all gone bowling or go every once in a while, but if bowling's your hobby, I'm sorry, we can't be friends. I bet Alex is an outstanding bowler, in a league and everything.

I am definitely sick of hearing the whole why-doesn't-this-woman-get-respect angle as it applies to Wie and other examples like Danica. No one takes the time to find out something original or creative when they write about them...it's like, okay, interview the girl, then try to goad some hick into saying something ignorant, and blow it out of proportion. If you read the whole Danny Green quote from the link, you'll find he's not so much a fool because of what he said that I copied, but because he tries so hard to straddle both extremes-"she shouldn't be here under any circumstances, yet I have no problem with it."

Anonymous said...

Wow, write an entire article that has nothing to do with the title. Innovative, and truly brilliant, I must say.

Mike said...

Thank you, Patrick, Stephen, Alex, whatever your name is, I'm touched.

Mike said...

I'm not sure I agree with that particular criticism of Wie. I don't think beating up on less-skilled players improves you in some elusive category (mental toughness?) that helps you win no matter the competition.

Would sending Peyton Manning back to college to win a bowl game or two help the Colts beat the Pats? Oh, wait, bad example-he lost all his big games in college, too.

So I see your point, and she looks to be an emerging choke artist at this time. But...I don't know if this is a real problem for her or just something in the last few weeks. Even MJ had bad playoff games.

A lot of times the person leading heading into the last day of a gold tourney doesn't win it all-so I can't fault a 15-year-old for not winning the U.S. Open. You're right; it's definitely something to keep an eye on.

Anonymous said...

Don't you find it funny that the very best of the women can't even compete with the men that are only somewhat good.

Mike said...

Wow, you're not kidding-that is funny. Ha ha ha! Oh my gosh, Alex, you're killing me. I'm seriously crying here.

These comments, too, are nearly dumb enough to be erased immediately. What's this cat and dog thing about?