Hole Punch Sports

If Carmelo Anthony wants out so badly, let’s make him stay. I used to think the Nuggets should keep Carmelo for the whole year since having Carmelo gives us our best shot at a championship for the foreseeable future. (Not that it’s an especially good shot.) But now? Let’s just keep him out of pure vengeance. Recent rumors suggested Carmelo would only sign his extension with the Nuggets if they trade him to New York. Here’s how it works: in the NBA, a player’s current team can offer a guy more money than any other team. This is intended to give teams a fighting chance in free agency to hold on to their best players. But if Carmelo wants out of Denver so badly, let him go! I can’t see a single reason for the Nuggets to give him the max deal if he’s not going to play here. Well, there is one reason, and that’s if we can trade Carmelo for something truly worthwhile. That’s unlikely. We could probably get some projects, or maybe one good player and some stiffs, for Carmelo, which isn’t c...

Today the Denver Broncos fired Josh McDaniels as their head coach. The team (and, by extension, the league) feels worth following once again. McDaniels got his first shot at a pro head coaching job in Denver at the age of 15. He was, it turned out, the Brian Griese of coaches. Like Griese, he followed an absolute legend, one of the best ever in the game, in Denver, where expectations run a mile higher than they should. Griese had a weak arm at a position that almost demands a strong one; McDaniels came to town without the instant respectability a tenured NFL coach carries. Both were young, promising, and disappointing. And, as with Griese’s 2000 Pro Bowl season, McDaniels showed one flash of brilliance that gave him just a little too much leash. His 6-0 start last season was the stuff of legend, a brilliant-if-misleading spark that gave him just enough job security to make it until today. (I say misleading because three of the wins came in one-score games, and the record since suggests...

Today is John Elway’s 50th birthday. (Thanks to Adam Schefter and my friend David for pointing this out.) In his honor, let’s look back on some of his greatest moments. Elway capped his career with a second straight Super Bowl win and an MVP performance over the Atlanta Falcons. Here’s a cool list of moments in video form. I love watching Elway immediately give T.D. props for Super Bowl XXXII. We can’t discuss Elway without The Drive. (And Pat Bowlen was so much cooler in his fur coat days.) I posted it a couple years ago, but Rick Reilly once did an exceptional profile on Elway that’s worth a read today. Dexter Manley read this play like a book: What the heck, another one from that Super Bowl loss: How about when Elway started turning it around in his last AFC Championship Game, flipping the routes in a crazy wind? Elway was and always will be my favorite athlete in any sport. The two Super Bowl wins that capped his career are the coolest sports story of my lifetime. The XXXII highl...

Last night’s NBA Championship Game was lamer than Yahoo! Answers, a disappointment in quality of play, memorable moments, and result. Kobe Bryant was horrible offensively. He nearly choked, settling for awful shots and firing a jaw-dropping 6-for-24 from the floor. Since his team won the title, though, clearly he did enough, I guess. It’d be interesting to see what the reaction to his game would have been had the Celtics won, though he’d probably get a free pass, like he did in 2008. Though I think the refs called the start of the game fine, they weren’t giving him calls that he usually gets, though it’s his job not to get frustrated. The box score vindicates no one else; did anyone have a good all-around game? Kevin Garnett played great for the most part, but only had three rebounds. Pau Gasol turned it on in crunch time, and grabbed eighteen rebounds (nine offensive!), but for an elite big man he sure got swatted a lot in the first half. Rajon Rondo was good, and his late three ...

The Lakers simply blew out the Celtics last night. Ideally you’d want to bookend a series with the kind of wins L.A. had in Games One and Six, but all last night’s win did is set the stage for what should be an epic Game Seven (Thursday, 7 p.m. Mountain, ABC). I had secretly hoped for the Lakers to win last night; we’ve had only one winner-takes-all NBA championship game since Michael Jordan stopped playing baseball. So, as bad as the news from last night was, tomorrow night should be outstanding and historic. The human drama is compelling; I’m jealous of everyone who gets to play in this game. Rajon Rondo could become a legend. Kevin Garnett could give us an Elway-in-XXXIII performance and make everyone forget how much they criticized his previous crunch-time efforts. Kobe Bryant could finally prove, to me anyway, that he’s as great as they say. Lamar Odom can show us all how far he’s come with his candy addiction. The list goes on. All I’m hoping for is a game that lives up to it...

This weekend I caught the U.S. vs. England World Cup game, and the last minute and a half of the Lakers-Celtics game. I'm not sure which took longer. Here are some random and unorganized thoughts on each: Soccer is like baseball with a clock. Well, baseball off steroids, anyway. There are a lot more, "hey, something could happen" moments than there are times when things actually do happen. It lends a certain tension to the proceedings; we went nuts when the U.S. goal trickled across the line. And the final minutes were tense, but not quite like normal American sports, because you never really know when the next scoring chance will develop. That said, the clock is huge. I love that the game starts moving, keeps moving, and ends in a timely fashion. Baseball has a huge problem with this. When it's a great playoff series (like Yankees-Red Sox in the Pedro Martinez era), I don't mind, but otherwise I start to wonder about how much of my life is ticking away watching...

So today was a crazy day. CU is joining the Pac-10, which now joins the Big 12 and Big 10 in having eleven teams. I don’t care for the move and feel particularly annoyed at the potential loss of the rivalry game with Nebraska. USC finally got busted. Thank you! Finally, justice is served against all those 2004 stars who are still on football scholarship with the school. And Pete Carroll’s going to have a tough time getting his next job. (Oh, wait.) Actually, I did get to tell a missionary in my ward today who is a big USC fan about the two-year bowl game ban, and that was kinda fun. (I can’t even describe how self-conscious I was writing that last sentence.) Most importantly, the Boston Celtics beat the L.A. Lakers to even the Finals. I have mixed feelings. I didn’t see the end of the game, but I saw Rasheed Wallace’s Morey Rule three-pointer with about six minutes left in the fourth. I’m excited. Boston has energy throughout their lineup, which L.A. can really lack. On the other h...

I missed the second half last night, leaving just as the third quarter started and thinking the Celtics would waste Ray Allen’s historic shooting night. In retrospect, I gave up way too soon. Go Boston!

Excited for an HPS comeback? I was, but I have nothing to say after last night. I’m pulling for the Celtics, obviously, and they were dominated pretty much start-to-finish. Other than Sheed’s straight-up block of Pau Gasol I didn’t see much to get excited about. (Oh, and I liked Doc Rivers’ $100/person motivational gimmick.)  How much of a shot does Boston even have left in this series? Is it time to give up hope? I’m just hoping the Lakers get cocky and let up, which is totally possible. Highlights if you want 'em:

So ESPN 3 didn’t work for me at all last night, so after finally getting home I was unable to follow the game on anything nicer than a Gamecast. So I didn’t actually see the Cleveland Cavaliers’ last meaningful game of the decade. But if you did, let me know about it in the comments. The big question: does this loss tarnish LeBron’s legacy? I don’t know. Michael’s Bulls lost to the Pistons three years in a row, and no one cares now. So I’m inclined to say it won’t, depending on how LeBron fares on his new team, of course. That said, Jordan’s Bulls didn’t choke away the best record in the league two seasons in a row, either. And how was LeBron last night, anyway?

…and we’re back! Saturday a friend’s dad asked me if I thought the Denver Nuggets would be well-advised to trade Carmelo Anthony this off-season. His take is that Carmelo was ineffective in Game Six against the Jazz, when it really counted, and I presume he meant ’Melo cannot be considered reliable in the future. I almost blew up at the poor guy, and threw in some unwarranted criticism of Chauncey Billups, but I still believe trading Anthony would be a huge mistake. Game Six was the only game I saw of the playoffs this year, owing to my savvy decision to cancel cable just before the postseason started. (Hey, I still get House and Community ; what else is there?) I ended up going to someone’s house where they watched the game on ESPN 3, or in other words over the Internet, where I probably could have watched the whole freaking series at my own place. (Note to self: edit out this part because it makes me look like an idiot.)  Anyway, that game was a nightmare to watch: the refs we...

Dear Readers, The last few years I always felt like writing a “Life is Good” post, celebrating how long it had been since the New York Yankees won a World Series or were a serious threat to: it had been nearly a decade. I suppose they were a threat to win it in 2003, when I didn’t watch the Florida Marlins whoop ’em, but the Arizona Diamondbacks’ seventh-game win in 2001 didn’t just knock off the Yankees’ aura, it made the team seem utterly vincible. After a few years, though, I felt most of us had forgotten how awful it had been in the late-90’s and 2000, when the Dynasty of Inequality crushed the hopes of baseball fans everywhere else, which is to say of real fans. (Those same fans had the pleasure of being insulted every time the team’s front-office and managerial savvy were praised on TV. Oh, that huge financial advantage inherent to playing in New York? I’m sure it’s nothing! Salary cap? That sounds like communism, and what kind of all-American sport would agree to such blatant...

So I was hardly excited about this year’s NCAA Tournament. Filled out three brackets this morning, but I don’t know who’s good, and I don’t really care. By the way, brackets are just awful when you can’t convince yourself yours matters. But then the games started. BYU just wrapped up a spectacular 99-92 double-overtime win over the 10-seed Florida Gators that reminded me why March Madness is king. Like many tourney games, it started slowly, with poor execution and a disappointing level of play. But the Cougars took a big second-half lead, blew it, and then somehow managed to win the game anyway. My favorite part was when Jimmer Fredette got knocked down with four minutes to go in the second overtime period. As soon as the cameraman stood over him, he just looked up and waved. Totally cool under pressure, and that’s as close as I got to knowing the Cougars would win before the final buzzer sounded. My least favorite part would have been that stepback three he took late if he hadn...

So you’ve probably heard that the Denver Broncos acquired quarterback Brady Quinn, late of the Cleveland Browns and previously of the Notre Dame Fighting Irish, in a trade involving Peyton Hillis (who I’m not in love with) and some late draft picks. I’ve got nothing against Hillis; he’s just not one of my favorites the way he seems to be for some Broncos fans. So how does Brady Quinn, Medicine Woman, shift the balance of power in the AFC West? Not at all! Everyone keeps asking me what I think about this trade, which is weird, considering Quinn’s dazzling career 5.39 yards per attempt, which barely beats Hillis’ 4.9 yards per rushing attempt. Let me spell it out for you: he sucks. No, he doesn’t suck at football the way I suck at getting women, but he’s yet to show any hint that he’s got the potential to turn a team around, despite his build, athleticism, and hype. And make no mistake: turning the franchise around is absolutely what the Broncos need right now. We might’ve been ...

This afternoon I was awoken from a glorious slumber by a phone call I barely remember, and then I called back my friend David, who had also called during my nap. He told me he was heading home to watch the gold-medal Olympic hockey game and the Nuggets-Lakers game. Holy crap, how did I not know? So I switched on the TV and this is what I saw. I picked up the hockey match early in the third period, with the U.S. down 2-1 and not really charging. I was alternately shocked how many names I did and didn’t recognize. Scott Niedermayer’s still playing? Whenever Jack Johnson’s name was called, I started to sing, “it seems to me that maybe…”, and likewise when Mike Richards was on the ice I began to reminisce out loud about what I would have done to him with a fork fifty years ago. This is particularly charming when you realize I was watching the game alone. Meanwhile the Nuggets were taking care of business in L.A., up by eight or so. The U.S. was getting occasional chances on goal, sli...

Everyone’s been asking me the last few weeks who I wanted to win the Super Bowl, and the answer was easy: the New Orleans Saints. Why? Because I hate Colts quarterback Peyton Manning, I’d say, even though everyone says he’s the greatest player in the universe. As I was explaining this over and over, I realized how weird it is to say I am rooting against a team because I hate someone. Thing is, I don’t have any reason to hate Manning. He’s a good guy or whatever. Or maybe he’s not, but he doesn’t seem to be that bad of a guy, either. And he’s very good at football. But he’s wildly overrated in any discussion of his talents as a quarterback. It’s just off the charts how much more highly people think of him than his actual ability merits. Just look at his record in big games, or the way he started going off-target in the fourth quarter tonight. Enough about Peyton Manning, though. Tonight’s all about the Saints and Drew Brees, who cemented what should have been an MVP year with a mas...

Somehow I’ve never written about George Gore, the only Gore ever to play major league baseball. Though you’ve probably never heard of him, Gore was pretty sweet: an outfielder who could flat-out rake, run the bases, and had some skills on defense. He was probably a five-tool player, especially early in his career, though the standards were a little different back then. Gore played his first eight seasons (1879-1886) for the Chicago White Stockings, the team that would become today’s…wait for it…Chicago Cubs (yes, seriously). In 1880, Gore won his only batting title, hitting .360, with league-leading on-base (.399) and slugging (.463) percentages, too. According to Wikipedia , his last two White Stockings teams won the National League pennant, then faced the St. Louis Brown Stockings, champions of the American Association, in what then passed for a World Series. The clubs tied in 1885 and St. Louis won outright in 1886; this was the foundation of today’s Cubs-Cardinals rivalry. Go...

The games today were predictable (AFC) and sloppy (NFC), and only one moment (the Saints' FG) was as cool as Carmelo's OT free throws Saturday, but here are my brief thoughts on what we've learned about the teams: New York Jets: None of the teams whose seasons are over did more with their potential this year than the New York Jets. Their foundation was less solid than anyone else in the final four. Mark Sanchez is limited as a quarterback, particularly in his rookie season, but the team asked just the right amount of him, especially in the postseason. Their defense and running game are very good; will Sanchez get better quickly enough that the team returns to this point next year? And will teams like the Ravens and Patriots not improve enough to challenge them? It's too early to call next year, but Jets fans have a team to be proud of. Indianapolis Colts: In the second half of the NFC title game, it hit me: the Colts are almost surely winning the Super Bowl again. I h...

Yes, that is seriously a football team’s name. Anyway, it’s official that the greatest coach in Denver Broncos history is heading to the overexposed NFC East. I twittered about this a bunch tonight so you can hit the link to the right if you want to see what I said. I appreciated more the sentiment from my Sunday Ticket host, who texted, “I feel like my ex-gf just got married.” And go Nuggets! Crazy win against the Warriors tonight .

You wouldn’t put a fork in them, because you wouldn’t want to consume —you wouldn’t want to savor—you wouldn’t even want to think about this painful season one second more than is necessary. I’ll be brief. Last season the Broncos ran out to an 8-5 start. Not unstoppable, but dangerous on offense, which for some reason makes a team look a lot better than when they’re just average on both sides of the ball with the same record. Wonder if there’s anything to that. Anyway, we just needed one win—any win—in the last three games to clinch a playoff spot. Instead we fell apart , losing by twenty to Carolina, by a touchdown to Buffalo, and by a ton to San Diego in the last game of the season, a painful and sad loss. That loss was so bad that it felt like a big factor in the dismissal of our Hall of Fame coach, Mike Shanahan, and the team’s overall letdown was surely at play in our trade of Jay Cutler, too. This year we busted out of the gate to a sparkling 6-0 mark. However, we faltered, a...