Hole Punch Sports

The New England Patriots just went 16-0. Tonight's game was awesome. The Giants played the Patriots pretty closely almost the whole game, even taking a lead into the fourth quarter. I was surprised the Giants played as well as they did, though evidently not as surprised as Bryant Gumbel and Cris Collinsworth, who were saying things like "The Giants are making a game of this" in the first freakin' quarter. Yes, we're three minutes in and I can't believe they haven't lost already. The Patriots set a bunch of non-record records, too. Tom Brady, the obvious MVP of the league this year, finished the season with an unbelievable 50 touchdown passes. (Maybe he deserves to be mentioned in the same breath as Peyton Manning after all?) Not to take anything away from Brady, but with the passing numbers guys have put up lately, I wonder how long that record will stand. Then again, Dan Marino's single-year passing yardage record (5,084 yards in 1984) hasn't been...

After seeing tonight's Denver Broncos-Houston Texans game, I'd like to revisit a piece of everyone-saw-it-coming conventional wisdom: namely, how dumb were the Texans to take Mario Williams over Reggie Bush? Remember, this question was settled for all time last year, when Bush led his New Orleans Saints to the playoffs, while Williams' foibles left the Texans on the couch for the postseason. At least that's the story I remember. But it was really settled the year before that, when both were in college, and when Bush, a.k.a. The Next Gale Sayers, became the highest-paid amateur athlete ever. Just one problem. Williams has been way better than Bush this year. I don't mean to bash Bush for his knee injury, which may or may not keep him out for the rest of the year, even though when analyzing someone's worthiness as a No. 1 overall pick I think it would be fair to do so. Let's look at just the stats, instead. Williams had three-and-a-half sacks tonight to b...

It came out today, and you may have already looked at it. If not, you can download it as a pdf all over the place, including from ESPN.com . Anyway, the big name named in it was Roger Clemens. That's what we've been waiting all this time for? I don't even know what to say, because this is like the least-surprising report of all time. I hate the gotcha crap that goes on when stuff like this happens. You know, the know-it-alls who say how obvious it was that Clemens had been cheating for years—hey, just look at his age! (Did these people say this so confidently  before Clemens was named? No. And have they ever heard of Nolan Ryan?) But seriously. He's huge, he put really big numbers for a really long time, and he's considered this super-intense jerk—basically, he's Barry Bonds on the mound. Setting aside the moral issues of steroid use (and believe me, I'm against it), I was hoping for some entertainment out of today's revelations, and I was sorely dis...

Michael Vick was sentenced to 23 months in prison today, and counting time he's already served, he should be released in October 2009. That gives us a chance to look at the question: will Michael Vick ever play in the NFL again? Vick will be 29 when he's released, but there's basically no way he's playing in 2009. What team would take the chance? Basically, you'd have to be a team with championship aspirations that desperately needs a quarterback for several weeks. Considering Vick's reputation and the subsequent PR hit, it would have to be a team with absolutely no scruples. So unless Tom Brady gets hurt in week six of the 2009 season, Vick won't play until 2010, when he'll be 30. Could Vick be a good thirty-year-old quarterback? Well, he obviously relies more on his physical talent than his ability to read coverages. But assuming he can stay in shape, his physical gifts should not vanish before 2010. He'll still be capable of playing in the NFL...

The Denver Broncos destroyed the Kansas City Chiefs yesterday, 41-7. Jay Cutler was absolutely on fire: 20-for-27, 244 yards, four touchdowns, no interceptions. I'm almost surprised that seven of his passes hit the ground, because he was hitting on everything from short-drops to back-foot tosses down the seams. I hate games like this late in the season, that tease with terrific performances. Too bad it'll be nine months before we see if there's any real carryover. Brandon Marshall, who's been good all year, went over a thousand yards receiving, and broke tackles like he always does. If he and Javon Walker are healthy next year, and Cutler plays well out of the gate, this is easily a playoff team, right? But then you remember that we lost by two touchdowns to Oakland last week, and the future looks much less clear. The Patriots, on the other hand, passed their second major test of the season with flying colors, beating the Pittsburgh Steelers 34-13. Don't let the...

I realize I'm a little late on this, but I wanted a little time to think about it. At this point, I have heard way too many people blame the Denver Broncos' loss to the Chicago Bears on Sunday on Denver's decision to kick to Devin Hester. I have some problems with this. The first is how much I hate it when games are blamed completely on individual plays or players. Yes, it's possible for a guy to play so poorly that he negates the efforts of everyone else, but it's very rare. Can a player win a game single-handedly? I guess, theoretically, but I've never seen it. More to the point, why shouldn't the Broncos kick to Devin Hester? Don't get me wrong. Hester is an incredible punt returner, and perhaps the most effective weapon in Chicago's arsenal. He's a threat to change the course of a game every time he touches the ball. Hester's so fast, his speed rating in this year's Madden is the first time in the game's history where a play...

Colorado dominated Nebraska with its running game Friday. Hmmm, when have I seen that before? With a final score (65-51) that resembled an NBA Eastern Conference playoff game more than a Big XII rivalry showdown, the Buffs-Cornhuskers game was a thrilling conclusion to Colorado's regular season. Go ahead and credit the now on-again efficiency of quarterback Cody Hawkins, but never forget the Buffs' star tailback. Right now that's Hugh Charles (169 yards), who managed just three touchdowns Friday. (Yes, that was sarcasm.) The game was troublesome in the first half, with Nebraska taking a 35-24 lead into the break. But almost as soon as Colorado's troubles started, they were a distant memory. Interception return for a touchdown. Then Charles scored to take the lead, and did it again to widen the gap. The game was 44-35, but the Buffs weren't finished. Hawkins chucked a touchdown pass to the corner, and then Charles completed his second-half hat trick. Nebraska scor...

I've said several times that Barry Bonds didn't cheat at baseball, since he, you know, didn't break any of the rules of baseball. A common comeback to me is, but Mike, he took steroids, and that's against the law. One imaginative fellow even asked me a few months back if I would have considered it okay for Bonds to have killed several opposing players, in order to give himself a competitive edge. Technically, that's not cheating. I am okay saying that this hypothetical is way worse. (I'm so grateful I was raised with morals that extend beyond the limits of the rules of professional sports.) Anyway, if a player cheats at baseball, you can suspend him, you can ban him, you can even put asterisks next to his performances if you're into punctuative vengeance. But if he breaks the law? You go ahead and indict him . Barry Bonds, baseball's home run king, was indicted for perjury and obstruction of justice Thursday and could go to prison instead of the Hall of ...

I didn't write any kind of NBA preview before the season started. Now that the season is .06% out of the way, it feels like cheating to say anything now. Nevertheless, here are some thoughts I have on the Nuggets. Last year the Nuggets were just 45-37, which was a disappointment any way you slice it. Yes, Carmelo Anthony missed 15 games to a suspension following the "fight" in Madison Square Garden. But the team went 7-8 without him, which really isn't bad, and acquired a future Hall of Famer in Allen Iverson. So they should have surged when Carmelo came back. For whatever reason, they didn't. So what makes this year any different? Well, Iverson and Carmelo will benefit from their experience last year. But more importantly, I think they'll benefit from spending an off-season knowing they'd be on this team together. It's not so much that they didn't play well together last year-despite everyone predicting they were too selfish to mix, both players h...

I'm watching the New England Patriots at Indianapolis Colts game right now, wondering if there will be any point to the rest of the season. Both teams are undefeated, and most feel that today's winner (whoever that is) will go on to win the Super Bowl. I don't disagree. Since the Patriots are on the road, I think they become pretty clear Super Bowl favorites if they win today. (Perhaps they already should be, considering their college football-like margins of victory). If Indianapolis wins by, say, 10, I think you'd have to consider them the overwhelming championship favorites. I believe some other teams have a shot this year, but I still don't know which teams those are. I'd be happy for Brett Favre if Green Bay can keep up its miracle season. It'd be good to see the Cowboys make the Super Bowl, if only to see their fans emerge from the woodwork, and then disappear just as quickly after the inevitable title game defeat. (At least, that's how every Cowbo...

I don't mean this to be one of those angry-but-secretly-jealous or hey-things-sure-have-changed posts. I really and suddenly do hate the Red Sox. Wait, why did I like them in the first place? I started following baseball in 1997. That meant seeing Nomar Garciaparra, a hotshot Red Sox rookie, in the paper a lot that season.  For a shortstop, that kid could hit. Coincidentally, from watching games and statistics, I decided that my favorite and the best young pitcher in baseball was a Montreal Expo named Pedro Martinez, who joined the Red Sox the next year. Martinez's 1999 season was the stuff of legend, and Garciaparra was shaping up as one of the best players ever at his position. (What an arm on both of those guys.) They made a fantastic pair to watch. And the team's biggest rival was the New York Yankees, a team I'd already grown to hate. The Yankees had insufferable fans and had spoiled the World Series appaerance of Tony Gwynn in '98. Plus the Red Sox were in ...

The story that will be told the most tonight is that of the Boston Red Sox, who just swept their second World Series in four years. It's a good story, if you're a complete freaking moron who believes it's weird for a team not to win championships very often, as Red Sox fans once believed. I'd rather talk about the Colorado Rockies, whose season ended on somewhat-low-but-honestly-quite-high note tonight. It's unfortunate that Colorado's miracle run through the postseason came to such a sudden stop in the World Series, and I suppose it's too bad they couldn't win at least one game in Coors Field. But I'm still amazed I was watching a World Series game at Coors in the first place. I don't mean to make the team sound like lovable losers, or that I'm pleased with the Series outcome. I'm not. Missed chances might hurt the most in baseball, because getting to the championship round requires healthy doses of skill and luck. A basketball team can...

Hello, everyone. To push our last live blog even further down the page, and as part of a scientific experiment of the effects of punctuation on legibility, I made a running blog of Game 3. Be warned. It probably won't be any more fun to read about than it was to watch. 6:33-Is this 6 p.m. game ever going to start? 6:36-The Budweiser opening pitch goes for a ball. 6:37-Jacoby Ellsbury hits a leadoff single. That has to be the least-fastest hit in World Series history. 6:40-Dustin Pedroia barely beats out Tulo's throw for a second consecutive impressive hit. David Ortiz is up. Kill me. 6:41-Swing and a miss at the first pitch for Ortiz. Tim McCarver says the start to this inning (having two runners on with no outs) justifies David Ortiz starting this game. Is it just me or is anyone else shocked there was even a discussion about this? He's been the best hitter in baseball for years, especially in the playoffs. Of course he starts in the World Series. And now the count ...

It wasn't all bad news for Rockies fans last night. Actually, it was. But I just thought I'd point out that the greatest Rockie ever, Larry Walker, was inducted into Canada's Sports Hall of Fame last night. (Did they have to change the title from Sport to Sports?) Walker not only possessed all five tools, he's the whole reason I even know what the five tools are. Sure, he could hit like crazy. Everyone knows that. But his instincts were off the charts. No one ran the bases as wisely as he did, but that's not to discount his speed. Don't forget his incredible defense. Outside of John Elway, Walker might have had the best arm of anyone who ever played for a Colorado team. It's also worth noting that this dream season for the Rockies is the tenth anniversary of Walker's amazing MVP year. In 1997, Walker hit .366, finishing second to Tony Gwynn in the race for the batting title. He also hit 49 homers, stole 33 bases, lead the league in on-base (.452) and s...

Sometimes it's simple. To win a game in the World Series, the Rockies will have to start throwing more strikes. And hitting better. Easier said than done. For a while last night I thought Ubaldo Jimenez was going to make himself a Colorado legend. He came in, challenged hitters, and kept the Red Sox guessing. Unfortunately, he wore out pretty quickly and began to lose command of his pitches. The Rockies pitchers battled all night, which was a refreshing change from giving up runs on walks. The offense was about as inept last night as it was in Game 1, though it got off to a promising start in the first. How would the game have changed if we could have knocked in one more first-inning run? Like the number of licks needed to reach the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop, the world may never know, but I think it would have meant a lot. Yes, the Red Sox offense felt much more dangerous than our attack did, but they had a hard time pushing runs across last night, too. That's about ...

Today we're trying a little bit of an experiment on Hole Punch Sports. My friend David, who joined me at the NLCS, begged me to let him "live"-blog last night's game. Please believe me when I say I made absolutely no edits to the following. Welcome to game 1 of the World Series readers. I am guest blogging for HolePunchSports and will have a running account of tonight’s game. Since tonight is the first time the Rockies are in the World Series it makes for a great stage for my first column. 4:28 No pre-game show here in the San Francisco Bay Area, Just my dog and me and our good friend miller light. Ahh nothing better then cracking open a cold one while watching southern California burn to a crisp. 4:40 I am getting pre-game butterflies. I have never been as happy with sports as I am with these Rockies. I was happy when the broncos won the 1998 Super bowl. But that was expected. I had been waiting a decade for John Elway to finally lift the Lombardi trophy. This World...

Let me tell you a story. Once upon a time, a baseball team called the Boston Red Sox had the best pitcher in the world. He was a fellow by the name of Pedro Martinez. Pedro, you see, could be counted on to win almost any time he pitched, especially if it was a big game. One memorable year, the Red Sox faced the Cleveland Indians in the first round. It was a hard-fought series that went the full five games. The teams were tied 8-8 in just the fourth inning of that final game. Were the Red Sox worried? No. They had Pedro. Sidelined by an injury in Game 1, Pedro returned to the mound to stop the bleeding. He went the rest of the game- six clutch innings -and didn't give up a single hit. Boston, of course, won. Was he done? Far from it. In the next round, the Red Sox faced their hated rivals and eventual mirror image, the New York Yankees. Pedro was called on to pitch once again. And once again, he was masterful. He went seven innings, stuck out twelve, and gave up no runs in Boston...

Anybody get World Series tickets? Not any readers. Literally, did anybody get World Series? In a way that people who didn't try to buy tickets will never fully understand, the Rockies' public ticket sales for their remaining World Series seats went horribly. Just about everything that could have gone wrong did. It didn't have to be this way. The Rockies initially planned to sell tickets through their usual outlets, as well as through their website. Then a couple days ago, they announced they'd be selling tickets exclusively through their website. (That's www.coloradorockies.com . Don't bother going there, though. It never works.) I'll admit, though, that I was glad they were only selling online. I don't live in Denver and would have had no chance to make it to Coors Field or wherever. The website said tickets were going to go on sale October 22 (that's yesterday) at 10 a.m. So I camped out with a pair of computers, preparing an all-out bandwidth assa...

The Yankees basically fired Joe Torre today. He turned down a one-year, $5 million offer to return to manage the team next season, which I guess means he won't return at all. It's a startling pay cut. This season, Torre made $7.5 million. The Yankees' offer actually called for him to receive up to $8 million depending on the team's postseason finish. This being the century that it is, that means Torre was going to get $5 million. This firing/whatever officially makes this the greatest week in baseball history. Seriously, I've waited years for this. Is Joe Torre the best manager in baseball? Is the Pope Catholic? Torre's best known for two things: making the perfect call and the perfect time, and having the perfect players to do it with. Sure, any monkey could be trained to bring in Mariano Rivera in when it's close and late. But can that monkey deal with all the other stuff, like a bizarre political environment that dictates that your best shortstop play th...

So, yeah. Last night's NLCS game was great for two reasons. First, the Rockies made the World Series, which probably won't even feel real when I'm watching it. And second, it was great because I was there. For proof, please consult the first picture ever on Hole Punch Sports: Okay, that doesn't prove anything, other than that the Motorla Razr is the world's best camera at any price. But I was there, and it was great. Just a series of ever-escalating moments. The first was seeing Coors Field for the first time last night. I've been there before, but man, did it look great with the lights on and with the playoff rush. Just the perfect glow. The buzz getting into the building was electric. I've only been to one other playoff game in any sport, when the Broncos beat the Jaguars on the way to their first Super Bowl victory, and before the game, this was at least that exciting. Mile High was louder, of course, but the atmosphere was identical. There was a slight d...

The Colorado Rockies just made the World Series. I don't know if I'll have the opportunity or energy to expand on this tomorrow, so feel free to add your points in the comments. Here are some of my observations: 1. I don't care if Frankie Morales only went four innings-when your pickoff move is to go tag the runner out yourself, you've moved to a plane where you're beyond criticism. 2. All right, I lied. I actually care quite a bit that Morales only went four innings, because taking him out may have been the best call of Clint Hurdle's career. The Rockies, trailing by one in the fourth, had runners on second and third with two outs, so they pulled their rookie starting pitcher for a rookie pinch-hitter, Seth Smith, who delivered a Texas Leaguer to knock in a pair of runs. But the Rockies were up 3-0 in the series and the games are spread out enough that you're unlikely to wear out your pitching staff. In retrospect, is the call still as gutsy as it seemed...

New game, same result: Rockies win, and now they've swept the Phillies and will face the Arizona Diamondbacks in the National League Championship Series. It's the perfect cap to the best week in franchise history for the Rockies, a week that started when the Rockies beat the Diamondbacks Sunday to force a regular season playoff. Monday they beat the Padres in a 13th-inning comeback to make the real playoffs. Wednesday and Thursday they beat the Phillies twice, almost matter-of-factly, then finished them tonight with another spectacular win. The Diamondbacks, meanwhile, just finished their own series sweep over the Chicago Cubs. The Rockies' scorching finish to the season makes them the hotter team, but both squads look pretty good right now. So I can't assume the Rockies will beat the D-backs on pure momentum. The Diamondbacks won the NL West this year, but most of the statistical signs favor the Rockies. My favorite? The Rockies outscored their opponents this season b...

Did anyone see yesterday's game? The Rockies beat the Phillies 4-2 to take a 1-0 lead in their playoff series. I can't say much about the game, though I did see most of it. The Rockies took an early lead and never fell behind. Also, Cole Hamels, the Phillies' starting pitcher, walked in a run. In other words, the Rockies cruised over what appeared to be an overmatched opponent. Though the high-scoring offense is key to the success of any Rockies team, I'm most excited by the state of our pitching, which is as deep as a high-altitude team needs it to be. Boy, back in my day, the Rockies never had this many competent relievers. In those days, the Rockies would just cross their fingers and hope to get a decent inning from a pitcher who was a complete trainwreck. That happened, or at least it felt like it happened, every single game. No more. A few years ago, LaTroy Hawkins would've been one of the best relievers in franchise history. Now, he comes in in the seventh inn...

One of my friends doesn't have cable, but I'm glad. Having to call him all night to tell him about the game meant someone heard me around the fifth inning when I said the Rockies would win by one run in the 13th. Which they did, finishing off the Padres 9-8 just moments ago. What a great game. The Rockies jumped out to a 3-0 lead, which would have been a lot more comforting if they hadn't been playing at home. Then Adrian Gonzalez of the Padres crushed a grand slam to put the Padres back in the lead. The Pads added another run in the inning to make it 5-3, but I wasn't worried. Why? Coors Field. When you think about it, there's no better park in the world for a one-game playoff. I don't care if baseball purists hate it, Coors is...hold up, I'm glad that baseball purists hate it. But Coors is the perfect backdrop for one winner-takes-all game, because no team is ever out of it. I love that this wasn't one of those 5-2 playoff games where the 2-run team n...

1. Whenever I've walked through the mall the last few months, I've always stopped and pondered the "Tulowitzki" No. 2 Rockies jersey at one of the kiosks. Was that an actual player, or just an example of a personalized jersey? Turns out that's Troy Tulowitzki , the 22-year-old shortstop who's hit 24 homers and knocked in 98 runs this season. And I had no idea who he was. In other words, no, I haven't followed the Rockies this year. It wasn't always this way. I don't know how many Rockies games I watched in the late '90s, but it was a ton. I followed some pretty horrible teams like crazy. But a few years ago it became pretty clear to me that the Rockies weren't really trying to win anymore. Management had milked the initial excitement dry, and wasn't interested in risking the money to make the team relevant again. When the team traded Larry Walker in 2004--in other words, when my favorite team got rid of my favorite player--I was actu...

For your consideration and pleasure, I hereby present the following facts after two weeks of NFL play: Denver Broncos quarterback Jay Cutler has thrown just two touchdowns this year to three interceptions. The Broncos have needed last-minute heroics from Jason Elam to save face against teams like Buffalo and Oakland. (Against Oakland, they even needed a timeout that even I'd call cheap, had the opponent been anyone else.) The team is scoring just 19 points per game. Oh, and the Cincinnati Bengals and Cleveland Browns put up ridiculous numbers Sunday, combining for 96 points and over 1,000 yards of offense. And now the question: who has the top offense in the NFL? The answer, of course, is the Denver Broncos. Who has the top defense in the NFL? The New England Patriots. In this ranking, the Broncos tumble all the way down to No. 2. These official rankings are made solely by yardage, rather than points. (I hope this illuminates for you the foolishness of judging these thing...