Hole Punch Sports

You know what sticks in my craw? Have you ever been ragging on somebody for a perfectly legitimate reason, and then someone (not to stereotype, but this someone will always be a woman) has to comment on said loser's friendliness? Let's say your friend Sam says something remarkably dumb. Doesn't matter what; he should have known better. Later you're with a friend, and you're like, "Geez, I can't believe he thought Hitler was French, what a moron." And some girl's there, and you get the worried-sounding, "Well, I think Sam's nice." Wait, what does that have to do with anything? I only bring this up because pretty much that exact scenario played out during last night's Monday Night Countdown on ESPN. Emmitt Smith said that spending all that money on running back Thomas Jones wouldn't help the Jets much, because Chad Pennington has such a weak arm. Smith added that if he were a defensive coordinator, he'd play nine in the box ...

Michael Vick has plead guilty to a conspiracy charge (I think), and will be sentenced December 10 . The prosecutors have recommended that Vick serve 12 to 18 months in prison , though the judge can sentence him for up to five years. So, faster than anyone thought, it's just about all wrapped up. I, for one, am shocked. Who could have guessed that the people who found the "cute" in "electrocuting dogs" wouldn't always have Vick's back? The question now is, where do we go for high-quality dogfighting? No, I mean, it's: will Vick play in the NFL again? I don't think the answer is anywhere near a clear-cut "no", yet there are some reasons to think that he won't. For one, any team that signs a quarterback fresh out of prison is going to take a gigantic PR hit. And the offense is one that's surprisingly (to me, anyway) galvanizing. I mean, some people are losing their minds over this. Don't get me wrong. Torturing animals should o...

So I just got a phone call from a friend of mine (who may or may not revel himself in the comments) who told me he just watched in person as Barry Bonds broke Hank Aaron's career home run record. And these are my immediate thoughts on that. 1. Congratulations to Bonds. Breaking Aaron's record is an amazing accomplishment. It's funny to me that if Bonds hadn't become unstoppable in this decade, he probably would have gone down in history a little underrated. 2. To everyone who says Bonds cheated to get this record: go ahead. Tell me what rule he broke. The more I think about it, the more I come back to that. Isn't breaking a rule the definition of cheating? Even assuming Bonds took steroids before they were against the rules (something almost everyone does assume), he's never failed a drug test, as far as we know, since testing was implemented. (It's possible he failed in that first year when testing happened but there were no punishments or publicity for fai...

The Captain e-mailed me a link to this ESPN.com article . It's worth a read, but I'll give you the gist of it right here: Denver Broncos don't make the Hall of Fame. It's still true that the Broncos, a team that's played in six Super Bowls, really have just one Hall of Famer they can call their own: John Elway. Tony Dorsett, the runner who starred for the Cowboys, and Willie Brown, a cornerback who did the same for the Raiders, both played briefly for the Broncos and made the Hall. As for Brown, I've always wondered why the Broncos picked up a star Raider at the end of his career. I never really felt good about it. So I consulted Wikipedia , and guess what? Turns out Brown actually started his career with the Broncos and was awesome from day one (All-AFL his second year). Turns out we traded him to the Raiders. No wonder the Broncos used to suck. Another fun Wiki fact is that Brown held the record for the longest interception return in a Super Bowl until Kelly H...