Hole Punch Sports

All right, class, what kind of things do we look for in an NBA draftee? A player who's proven, or one with oodles of upside? A guy coming off a spectacular college career, or one coming off the bench for his Serbian club team? A player who's shown constant improvement, or one who mysteriously fared worse as a senior than a junior? No, Kiki, put your hand down, it's the first answer to each of these questions, not the second. Yesterday the Nuggets picked 20th in the first round, selecting Julius Hodge, shooting guard/small forward, out of North Carolina State. College fans will immediately recognize his name, as Hodge was the ACC Player of the Year as a junior. Unfortunately, he just finished his senior year, which was marked mostly by a dip in his scoring numbers (he developed a sudden inability to hit free throws or threes) and a punch to the groin by Wake Forest guard Chris Paul. Hodge is mostly a mid-range and slashing-type scorer, kind of like the more-than-sufficient s...

So we finally got done with the NBA playoffs after nearly two months of stretched-out play, and tomorrow's the draft. I really couldn't care less. I'm so burned out on the sport. Sadly, there's nothing else going on worth mentioning, so we might as well get into it. (Yes, baseball, Pugs, but I haven't really started following that this year yet, sorry.) Would the NFL hold its draft five days after the Super Bowl? Of course not, and not just because the league doesn't want to distract from the highlight of its annual calendar, the Pro Bowl. Of course, the NBA's situation is a little different. College play ended two and a half months ago, and the teams want to get draftees ready for the all-important summer league play (because the kind of guys that need the summer league always end up players). Not that when college basketball is over is relevant, anyway-the league is overrun by a bunch of high school players "just months removed from their prom" (...

You know, I've really grown sick of the Lakers over the last few years and I ought to talk about the Finals, but outside of Pistons fans and their multiple boy friends (OOOOOOOOOOH!), I don't think anyone finds this year's series compelling...yet. So what is up with Phil Jackson? Rumors of his return to coach the Lakers have been public for weeks, but I was convinced he just wanted to raise his asking price from the Knicks. Why would Jackson, who at this point can write his ticket just about anywhere, want to return to work for an owner and star who ran him and the team's bets player out of town? (Why Phil Jackson would want to coach the Knicks is beyond me as well, but that's a whole other story.) Money is obviously a motivator for Jackson; how could it not be? I'll never understand why fans want sports figures to pretend that money isn't important. If I was offered two jobs and one paid a lot better than the other, I'll probably follow the money. Doesn...

If you're looking for a stereotypical matchup breakdown for the NBA Finals between the Detroit Pistons and San Antonio Spurs, (Game One is tonight, 7 o'clock Mountain, ABC), you've come to the right place! Center: Ben Wallace, Pistons vs. Nazr Mohammed, Spurs Wallace might be the league's top defender, winning his third Defensive Player of the Year award this season and leading the Pistons in both blocks and steals. It's said he's an improved offensive player, but he still scores primarily on tips and wide-open dunks. "Big Ben" is horrific from the foul line, connecting on 42.8% this season. Also, his brother has taken on NBA players and can probably beat up Mohammed's brother. Mohammed has been a good fit for the Spurs since being traded from the Knicks. It appears Isiah Thomas may have finally made his first mistake as general manager in New York, as Mohammed has started every Spurs' playoff game, averaging 8.1 points to go with a solid seven...

Longtime Denver Nuggets fans were not shaken by last night's turn of events; indeed, a seasoned observer could have called the game's turning point as it happened. The Pistons and Heat were locked in a not-quite-epic struggle for supremacy of the East and the proverbial ticket to the NBA Finals when Nuggets history came into play. I refer, of course, to former Nugget Antonio McDyess, now of the Pistons, and his anti-clutch abilities. Over a one-minute stretch in the fourth quarter McDyess contributed two missed buckets and a turnover as the Heat lead rose to 73-68. Predictably, he also managed a knee injury scare in that time. At 7:39 left in the quarter Ben Wallace came in for McDyess with the Heat lead still at five. From then on the absence of McDyess was key, as the Pistons closed out the game with a 20-9 run for the win. Of course, I've oversimplified. Hawks fans are probably saying the same thing about the four seconds Steve Smith spent on the floor. The game came dow...

So today I was planning on laying in to Larry Brown. Unfortunately, he finally issued a somewhat serious-sounding denial, which is exactly what he should have done days ago. I can't understand why coaches, players, and teams don't just issue flat denials in the media instead of delivering self-righteous lectures. I mean, it's not like Brown has had any issues lying about his career intentions before. It's almost as if Coach Brown thinks his persuasive skills are so powerful, he can make reporters say to themselves, "By golly, he's right!", re-evaluate their lives, and stop pointing out that he has something of a history in the department of constantly switching jobs. As a former sports reporter in the loosest sense of the term, I guess it's obvious I take the media's side in this. But it's not like reporters don't do stupid things, too. Take, for example, this constant talk of distractions. Detroit won last night despite the rumors and spec...