Baseball fans...?

Game 7 of the NLCS, a do-or-don’t-go-to-the-World-Series game for both the Mets and Cardinals, will start any minute now. (It probably did start by the time this is up, but never underestimate a Fox pre-game show.)

Me? I'm watching The Office tonight. I’m not alone. That show rocks. No, that’s not right. I mean I’m not alone in ignoring baseball. (I don't hate the game, but this matchup does nothing for me.)

From an AP article:

An AP-AOL Sports poll released Thursday shows that only one-third of Americans call themselves fans of professional baseball -- about the level of support for the last decade, but lower than 1990.

Remember how boring baseball was in 1990? Me neither. Glad they pointed it out anyway.

Some players don’t understand it.

Brandon Inge of the World Series-bound Detroit Tigers was surprised to hear that only 32 percent of Americans consider themselves fans.

"That sounds a little low to me," the third baseman said. "It's America's pastime."

Mister Inge, Oxford on line two. That’s it, I’m rooting for the N.L. What kind of argument is that?

To be fair, his confusion is completely understandable. He obviously sees a lot of baseball fans. And those people are completely nuts.

That’s right, you can finally-what, you didn’t click? As “they” say:

[F]ans of the New York Yankees, Boston Red Sox, Detroit Tigers, Philadelphia Phillies, Chicago Cubs and Los Angeles Dodgers will be able to have their ashes put in an urn or be lowered six feet under in a casket emblazoned with their team colors and insignia.

That’s a little...that’s just ridiculous. As if fans of any of those six teams aren’t obnoxious enough in life, now they can torture the rest of us in death. (If you think that's unfair to Tigers fans, give 'em a week.) It gets better:

Each urn will feature recognition of the deceased's passionate support, stamped with a message that says "Major League Baseball officially recognizes [person's name] as a lifelong fan of [team]."

Oh, good, as long as it’s official. Now when your friends come over, and dad’s in the Dodgers cup over the fireplace, they can’t just go ahead and call him a bandwagon kind of guy. I just realized, when I die, I’m not going to have that seal of approval. What have I done with my life?

In case any of you have no idea how the free market works, this isn’t something the company just dreamed up on a whim.

Farmington Hills, Mich.-based Eternal Image, which also makes a line of Vatican-themed products, "wanted to break into a sports venue of some kind," said Clint Mytych, the company's CEO. "It is the all-American sport."

He said he has gotten at least 1,000 inquiries since June.

A thousand grieving people wanted this badly enough to look up a company in Michigan and request it? Eternal Image could be the Microsoft of urn design for all I know, but still.

Whatever you do tonight, have fun. If it's your thing, enjoy the game. But take care of yourself-these urns won’t be available until next season.